So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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