remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So. Much. Porn.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
