Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I met the friendliest cop last night
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
