Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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