guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
