She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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