Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
