Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
