I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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