i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
