I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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