you turned your livingroom into a bong?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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