I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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