i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
