so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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