So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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