I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
