I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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