Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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