She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
