Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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