i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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