Having a random hookup so left but love u
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
