i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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