would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
