I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
