There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
