You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
