i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
