Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
