how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
