You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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