Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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