not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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