Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My balls are so social today.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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