Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
