We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize