Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize