it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
