i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
