God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
