I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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