I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I want her autograph on my taint
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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