I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
