I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
