if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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