they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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