Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
