He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
handjob tips. give me some.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
