I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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