The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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