tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
