hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
