if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
