"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
