Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
